What was I thinking?

Serious doubts kicked in today.  What was I thinking signing up for a half marathon?  I can't run!

I had a really really shitty run today. Woke up in a bad mood, feeling exhausted like I hadn't had much sleep. Went to run with Chelmer Roadrunners and was pleased than an interval session was planned, rather than distance.

But I just couldn't do it.  We ran about a mile as warm up, but because the 6 or so of us were all trying to stick together we went off way too fast, all trying to keep up with the fastest lady and she was seemingly oblivious to the rest of us struggling. Then we started our intervals - was planned to be 30 seconds faster (not sprinting, just increasing cadence) and then 2 minute recovery jog, repeated 8 times, and then finish off with another mile plus as a slower cool down run.   I don't think we managed that many intervals.  4 out of 6 of us were all so tired from going out too fast that the 30 second faster bits seemed to last forever and ever and ever and got slower and slower and harder and harder.  I think I did 5 well-ish, although starting to flag, and then on the 6th I started to feel queasy and had to walk my recovery rather than jog it.

And by that point my bum and hip were starting to hurt too :(  Oh woe is me... crappy crappy run.

Once I'd walked for a minute I did try to get back into it I really did but just couldn't! I wanted to keep going for a mile at a slow pace to cool down but actually managed less than 1/3 of a mile before the nausea kept bubbling up in my throat and I started to get really worried about hurting my hip.  So I decided to walk back to the start, and thankfully there was another lady, Emma who was also struggling and very happy to walk with me.  We put a little slow jog on for the last 1/4 mile and had a lovely chat about finding work that fits around children and school runs!  I've never felt queasy on a run before so that was a new, not very welcome experience for me.

In the end we ran less than 5kms and I hated every minute of it and I now hate running. Full Stop.  I really hate running and I hate that I seem to have hurt myself.   What an idiot to think I could run a half marathon... ( in 6 and a half weeks!!!!).... when those long training runs have broken me and I now I can't even manage 3 miles :( I want to cry.

I am keeping on with the glute strengthening exercises that the physio has given me but also finding them very hard and it's too early to see any difference yet... I wish someone could magically fix my running.

I'm off to eat some chocolate now and wallow in the self-pity of a shitty run.