6 days to go!

Well I'm really in countdown mode now.  It's Monday and my first half marathon is this week - this Sunday!   Excited and terrified all at the same time.

This weekend Michelle and I had planned a 10km run on Sunday morning when disaster struck! Michelle has injured her back.  I'm so gutted for her, as she's so desperate to do this for me after training together all the way.  I don't want her to feel bad at all but I do feel so sorry for her.  She is under strict orders to rest.  There is a tiny chance she may feel better enough to run next Sunday, but I'm carrying on this week on the belief that I am going to have to do this alone. (Sob sob sob!)

Although that does make me panic slightly, I am not as panicked as I thought or might have been, because... I went out yesterday, on my own, without Michelle and ran that planned 10kms.... and I did it!  And I know I could have kept going.   I did it all alone. No music, no running buddy. I just ran!

That in itself is a massive massive achievement for me.  Some weeks I can't run a 5k on my own. Even a few months ago I couldn't finish a 10km run without some walking.  Seriously.  For me to get over all my mental demons and keep going was amazing.  I felt epic afterwards, even though i wasn't even very fast, my target was just to do it. Without walking. On my own. Result.

It was so windy, but a decent day - no rain, not too warm and not too cold.  I managed to find a good flat out and back route.  Since running these longer runs I've started to really enjoy out and back routes - i like the physical marker of turning around and running back towards home, knowing that the miles left to run are getting shorter with each step.

I ran from my house, up into town, through the parkrun park and was passing 5kms and ready to turn back before I realised it!  I won't lie, i did have my usual negative thoughts for quite a few stretches of that first 5kms but I just kept using all the mental tricks Michelle has taught me.  I would focus on being positive, slow right down when I started to get out of breath and panic, break down the route into chunks in my head.  Then play little games like, I won't look at my tracker on the phone until after that traffic light etc, to stop me getting down-heartened about my pace or miles to go every 5 minutes. I tried to focus on everything around me, and enjoy seeing the city, peering into windows, smiling at parents walking in the park, saying hello to other runners.

I actually ended up doing 10.5kms to get home.  It took me 1 hour 12 minutes.

And then I had a little epiphany.  I'd spoken to a few people about the half marathon and many of them were surprised I wasn't fundraising.  I had said I wouldn't, partly because I didn't want to tell lots of people I was doing this challenge, in the fear that once I started to tell people there was more pressure and more chance of things going wrong or me failing (oh the silly mind games we play!).  But I realised that there is a very very low chance that I will ever do this again, and a few of my friends, on being told I was doing this wanted to support me and asked if I could choose a charity to get sponsorship for.

So I've caved - I've set up a justgiving page for a small charity that works in South Africa that i have been closely linked to for 15 years.   Here is a link.  https://www.justgiving.com/Lisa-Mills4/
I don't want to set a target to raise lots of dosh, but any donations will help keep me mentally focused on the day.  (Especially if I do have to run without Michelle! Sob sob sob!)

So what for the week ahead?  Not a lot, as I know I need to rest to ensure my hip and bum muscles don't get too sore ahead of the long long run on Sunday!  I'll have a little 20 minute run tomorrow and the same again on Thursday, and I'm planning lots of lovely food for before and after.  He he he!

In 6 days time it will all be over!

The day after long run day...

Oh my goodness I'm useless today.  I actually want to lie down on the sofa and cry because I'm so mentally and physically exhausted.    Yesterday I ran the furthest I've ever run in my life.  11 and a tiny bit miles!

And the weirdest thing... is that I could have kept going! And actually I'm not in pain or too stiff... so my body is stronger than I thought and has really grown in fitness with all the training I've done. I can see and feel huge differences... and yet still, I'm now 1 week and 6 days away from my first half marathon and I feel like I want to pull out!  I'm dreading it!

My mind is always my biggest problem when I run... as you can see from this summary of yesterday's run...

Woke up, having been looking forward to long run day all week, I woke up terrified and wondered if I could come up with an excuse to get me out of it.... Obviously not, so I went and met my lovely running coach/buddy Michelle, and hoped that she would be injured or ill and want to stop!

We started, I felt great, (we ran downhill for the first kilometre! that always helps).   I tried really hard to slow right down as my biggest downfall on other long runs is going way too fast at the beginning.

It was all going fine but I was struggling with breath due to going off a bit fast.  Got to about 2.5/3 miles and decided I hated running.  My mind was all over the place thinking of ways to stop the run.  Could I trip myself up so we had to stop and limp home?  I started to feel sick! Sick! I've never had exercise induced nausea before!  I can't run while I feel sick.  I could never run 11 miles. I can't even finish 3!  Look at all these other fast runners coming past me looking all smiley and fit.  I bloody hate running.

45 minutes in, time for a drink and an energy gel.  Thank god we got to walk for 2-3 minutes ... maybe we should just keep walking, walking is nice... start running again, slow slow slow.  oh my god we're going up a hill. I can't run up hills. I hate hills. Why did we stop?  I can't get my head going again, I had just got over my mile 3 nausea panic!!

1 hour... ah the gel is kicking in.... I'm starting to find my stride, I'm actually enjoying this.  Why did it take an hour of hell to get here?   Bloody hell another hill ,,, I think I may die. Oh dear that disgusting gel has made me feel nauseas again.  I can't breath, maybe I'm having a panic attack? Am I actually going to be sick?  Have we even run 5 miles yet?  I hate running.

And on and on like that, while the wonderful Michelle just kept chatting to me, all sorts of random rubbish to keep distracting me and keep me going.... she is an angel!

6 miles!  Hooray, we only have 5 miles to go, I've already done 6.... 5 is nothing!  We have turned around and we're on our way home now....

... and suddenly we're 7.5 miles and I'm ok! I'm OK! I'm doing this.  I've found my stride, we're having lovely random chats! Everyone is smiling at us.... look at those other runners - i'm just as good as them!  (Well, maybe not as good as the man with the Ironman Austria t shirt whose calves look like bronze statues of greek gods!) Ok so my legs feel like lead and my hip is as stiff and sore as anything but I'm in the zone and my legs are just going. I love this! I could run forever

Then ... Stop for another little walk to have another gel and a drink.... oh no. Can't get going again.  But only 3.5 miles to go... just a bit more than a park run... how hard can that be?  But I can't....

I have about a mile of decent running before I think my legs may just be glued to the ground, and then need another little walk and a talking too.  It's ok says Michelle.  Isn't it better to have 1 minute of walking and then go on to finish 11 miles rather than just give up at 8 or 9 miles?

Don't know how... but we got going again!

Then we had to run over two hump back bridges... HILARIOUS! The steep humps really really hurt my hip so I had to walk up the bridges and the steep down side really hurt Michelle's calves so she had to walk down them.... while we're both moaning and complaining like a couple of old grannies!

And then at almost 10 miles the most hilarious thing.... we run past Costa and Michelle says, ooooh I could murder a hot chocolate. And I said... I have a tenner in my pocket!  Let's do it!  So we agree to run up the road for 1/2 mile and then run back to costa and we'll be at 11miles and we can have a hot chocolate!!!! That thought is like rocket fuel.... fastest mile ever! And I feel great!  And actually, once we got up to 10.5miles we talked ourselves out of the Costa!  Because we realised that if we ran back there, we'd then have to walk or run another Kilometre back to Michelle's house and my car after our treat!!!! So we just kept going and ran home instead, which was just as rewarding (and cheaper, and without having to sit in Costa RED AND SWEATY and scaring small children!!!! lol).

And although I was stiff and my hip was complaining and I was shuffling and going sooooooo slowly really... when Michelle said, ok, stop, 11 miles.....

I felt like I could have kept going... so I did! Well, not really, maybe another 0.2 of a mile just to get myself back to my park bench where I like to stretch.  So I ran over 11 miles.  Ta dahhhh!

Shocker.

So, in spite of all my moaning and moaning. It was a great run.  And I felt epic.....


And then.....

I got home, still feeling nauseas, and tired and thirsty and hungry.
Quick cold bath (whose stupid idea was that?!?!?!) then a Long hot bath, banana, chocolate milk.  Wonderful.

Was pretty useless the rest of the day though.  Very stiff and sore, very very tired and nauseas all day.

Today I'm fine. It's a bit ouchie walking up and down stairs but nothing serious on the pain front.  My mind is more shattered than anything.  I just can't concentrate on work. I want a nap.

1 week 6 days.....

Short and sweet! Run report 3rd November

This will be short and sweet as I have a tonne of work to do!

Haven't managed to run for a week due to half term and being away but thankfully managed to get out with the lovely ladies at Chelmer Roadrunners (Tuesday group) this morning.

A lovely, slightly damp but crisp Autumn morning, perfect running conditions. Not too cold, not too hot.  Lovely.  We ran a new route around Galleywood, slightly hilly which was tough, but kept up a decent pace (averaged 7mins per km) and managed to run 7kms, partly because we weren't sure where we were going!

The only annoyance is that my hip started to ache again for the last kilometre.  To be fair I have not done my physio exercises for 5 days now either due to being away over half term.  And over the weekend I walked miles and had started to notice my hip aching at the end of a long day of walking around a foreign city (coupled with sleeping on a hard uncomfortable sofa bed at a friends house!).   Going to work v hard on my exercises this week and next.  Seeing my physio man again next Monday for the last time pre race.

Loved it again today, and it's made me excited about my next (and last pre race) long run which will be on Friday.

Oh yes, and I got home from my travels last night to my race number!  My race number and info for my first ever half marathon has arrived and it is all real now.  Gulp!  2 weeks 5 days!

Back in the zone - 8 mile run

Yesterday, Sunday 18th October I managed a good long run to get my head back into the half marathon training.

Before going out I had been dreading it, and convinced I wouldn't be able to make it more than 5 miles.  However it went really well which has really helped me regain my confidence about this half marathon... which by the way is now 4 weeks and 6 days away! Gulp.

I was feeling very stiff and achey from an exercise class (kettle bells and squats) on Friday which I really regretted doing.  So I was not expecting the run to go well, and when I met my running buddy she was also in pain and her toe was still throbbing from her Royal Parks Half Marathon the weekend before.  So it didn't bode well, however we started off on another beautiful sunny Autumn morning and there was lots to catch up on to hear how her half marathon went last week so a lovely chatty run.

We set off on an 8 mile route, but both us said we would have been happy to achieve a 10km (6 miles). The first 3 miles was really tough, as always, I felt like I was wading through treacle and I honestly thought that even achieving 6 miles was going to be impossible.

Thankfully as usual, around mile 4 I got into a groove and was pleasantly surprised that my hip felt fine, and the stiffness from the kettlebell class was actually calming down, as though the run was loosening and waking up my muscles.  10kms passed and all felt good and I started to feel that actually, 8 miles was completely do-able.  And so we did it.  The last half mile was really hard work, and my hip, thigh and lower back was starting to get stiff.  However, despite that struggle, hilariously we ran the last 3/4s of a mile at a pace I usually save for a fast 5k race! I think having the end in sight, and wanting to get there quicker just pushed me along!

I felt ecstatic - really really pleased with myself and I can't tell you how important that run was mentally to feel like I can achieve this half marathon and that training is back on track.  If I had not been able to achieve this run  I would have been feeling behind and struggling to get my distances back up.

It's still going to be a push - We think we only have time for 2 more long runs.  Later this week on Friday we will have another long run, hopefully 10 miles but then it's half term the week after, and I'm going to be doings thing with my little Monster, including a weekend visiting friends in Spain, so a long run is not possible.  We then plan to have our final long run of 11-12 miles the first week of November, before resting for two weeks before the event on 22nd November.

And this morning?  Well my hip and bum are still incredibly stiff and uncomfortable.  I'm not sure if it's still the after effect of the over the top kettle bell class that I shouldn't have done on Friday!

Feeling positive about running though.  Back in the zone!

What was I thinking?

Serious doubts kicked in today.  What was I thinking signing up for a half marathon?  I can't run!

I had a really really shitty run today. Woke up in a bad mood, feeling exhausted like I hadn't had much sleep. Went to run with Chelmer Roadrunners and was pleased than an interval session was planned, rather than distance.

But I just couldn't do it.  We ran about a mile as warm up, but because the 6 or so of us were all trying to stick together we went off way too fast, all trying to keep up with the fastest lady and she was seemingly oblivious to the rest of us struggling. Then we started our intervals - was planned to be 30 seconds faster (not sprinting, just increasing cadence) and then 2 minute recovery jog, repeated 8 times, and then finish off with another mile plus as a slower cool down run.   I don't think we managed that many intervals.  4 out of 6 of us were all so tired from going out too fast that the 30 second faster bits seemed to last forever and ever and ever and got slower and slower and harder and harder.  I think I did 5 well-ish, although starting to flag, and then on the 6th I started to feel queasy and had to walk my recovery rather than jog it.

And by that point my bum and hip were starting to hurt too :(  Oh woe is me... crappy crappy run.

Once I'd walked for a minute I did try to get back into it I really did but just couldn't! I wanted to keep going for a mile at a slow pace to cool down but actually managed less than 1/3 of a mile before the nausea kept bubbling up in my throat and I started to get really worried about hurting my hip.  So I decided to walk back to the start, and thankfully there was another lady, Emma who was also struggling and very happy to walk with me.  We put a little slow jog on for the last 1/4 mile and had a lovely chat about finding work that fits around children and school runs!  I've never felt queasy on a run before so that was a new, not very welcome experience for me.

In the end we ran less than 5kms and I hated every minute of it and I now hate running. Full Stop.  I really hate running and I hate that I seem to have hurt myself.   What an idiot to think I could run a half marathon... ( in 6 and a half weeks!!!!).... when those long training runs have broken me and I now I can't even manage 3 miles :( I want to cry.

I am keeping on with the glute strengthening exercises that the physio has given me but also finding them very hard and it's too early to see any difference yet... I wish someone could magically fix my running.

I'm off to eat some chocolate now and wallow in the self-pity of a shitty run.

Double run day and first time physio!

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  Started off cold and crisp, and bright and sunny and my son and I headed off to Junior parkrun full of excitement and with a spring in our steps to enjoy the sunshine.  The leaves are just starting to turn and the park looked so pretty and by the time we started to run, it was surprisingly warm.  The last gasp of summer in October!  As he is only 4, bless him, junior park run for us is more a fun thing, with lots of walk breaks, and chasing and racing from tree to tree and playing tag.  He adores sprinting over the finish line though, and yesterday he was much faster than usual because he had a batman t shirt on!

He runs the 2km (1.5mile) course in times ranging from 18-20 minutes.  Some of the over 10s at junior parkrun are amazing and finish in 7 minutes!  My aim is not to push him into running or being competitive at all at this age.  To me it's just important that he enjoys some physical activity and being outside, and it's nice to enjoy it together.

After dropping him at home I was off on my own run with my running buddy and by 10.30am it was positively tropical out!  Such a nice sunny day for a run.  As usual we went out all excited and feeling great, and went off far too fast (10m30s per mile!) so by mile 2 I was really out of puff!  We had a plan to run for about 45 minutes, and we had said we would go slow and take it easy but we start talking and just speed up and even when we tell each other to slow down we do and then forget and speed up again!

It's good for me though, as if I ran on my own I would plod and never push myself.  With Michelle I push myself to keep up with her.

After mile 3 my hip started to niggle again :(  we kept going but decided not to push for an extra little loop around a park we like, and head back for home, with a plan of running for 40 minutes instead of 45.  In the end we completed 6kms (3.75 miles) in 40 minutes and I was happy with that as it was faster than my usual pace, given that I hadn't run for a whole week and was recovering... however by the end my hip and butt cheek was very unhappy.  I spent the day stretching and hoping this wouldn't turn into something serious.

However my biggest issue at the moment is that when this happens, I'm afraid to tell my husband, because he's so negative about me running that he will use it as an excuse to try to put me off running.

Likewise, I had not told him that I had an appointment booked in with a physio this morning....

Fast forward (through coffee shops, cooking, homework, mowing the lawn and Downton Abbey) to today (Monday) ... After the school run I had my appointment with a physiotherapist who specialises in sports and had been recommended to me by other runners.

He was brilliant!  He obviously sees a lot of people with similar issues and was really positve.  He concluded what I had an inkling of myself - that I lack good muscle strength in my body and in particular the muscles in my hips and thighs and bum that are the main controller of running, lack strength.  This is fine if I just keep running comfortably up to 5-6kms but once running regular 10kms and more, my muscles are struggling as they don't have the strength to keep me going for runs over an hour without causing pain.

He showed me how, as a result, my knees are bowing in, to over compensate for the tightness and strain those muscles are feeling which is in turn making the hip hurt more, slowing me down, causing me to waste energy.  After lots of questions, watching me stand, walk, stand on one leg, bend my knees, touch my toes etc, then he spent about 20 minutes manipulating the muscles in my right thigh, hip and bum to try and loosen up the muscles.   It was EXTREMELY painful!  But, it helped a lot, the mobility in that leg and hip improved immensely as a result by the end of the session.

He then took me through two exercises that I have to do twice every day for the next 6 days to start to build up my strength.  He also thankfully said I should NOT stop running, but just stick to 3mile runs for the next week, as that is the point at which it starts to suffer.

His theory is that with perhaps 3 sessions with him and 6 weeks of exercises (and he said he will change and add more exercises each week), my hips will be a lot stronger, I will be able to run longer without pain, and ultimately run better with less after effect.

Very interesting talking to him and I'm feeling more positive now about tackling the half marathon next month.   Just have to make sure I do these exercises twice a day now! Oh, those exercises if you're interested are:

Single leg bridge, 10sec Left, 10 sec right x 10
Side leg race (lying on left, raising right leg) hold for 30seconds x 10

And finally... last night, running buddy Michelle sent me a plan for our longer runs for Norwich. Our aim is to get up to 12 miles before then.  So off we go!

Lisa x